Extraordinary People

It seems that along with all the knowledge and skills she picked up this
year, she also picked up a bit more "sass" - because she didn't have enough.

I would like to introduce you to some extraordinary people. If you've been reading my blog, you've met them before, but tonight I would like to focus my post on them, because frankly they should have some recognition and appreciation for what they do.

To begin, today was Abby's last day of school. As I waited for the bus to pull up I could scarcely believe how far we've come, and how fast the time has gone. She had a bit of a rocky start. As I lined her up for her "last day of school" picture I couldn't help but remember the call I got from Jason that first half day of school. Things did not go well at her first drop off, and Dad ended up leaving with her. But, she found her groove, mostly thanks to some really amazing people.

Mrs. Cathy

I have a high regard for any bus driver. I've always said that if we all had our own personal hells, mine would be an eternity on a bus, filled to bursting with a group of rowdy kids. This is one of the reasons I dread field trips. It would be so easy to be grouchy (I know I would be), especially when your route included some special little ones - who didn't always listen to directions or follow the rules of the road. The fact that Mrs. Cathy always greeted us with a smile and a happy "Good morning!" says a lot about who she is. I can only imagine how funny we would look to her as she drove up to our house and Abby and I would be dancing, playing the hokey-pokey, or doing something else totally kookie. I especially loved the days when she would continue what we'd started by dancing Abby back to her seat so she could be buckled in. 

Mrs. Cathy getting a nice big squeeze from
Abby. I love the looks on both of their faces.

In the afternoon I would always try to read Mrs. Cathy's face as her bus came to a stop in front of me. Was Abby cooperative or not, today? Even on the days when Abby got a "not so happy" report, we still ended on a good note. Abby always apologized, hugs were exchanged, and all was forgiven. I also loved the fact that as she waved good-bye Mrs. Cathy would throw out the reminder to, "Be good for Mama!" Yes, Mrs. Cathy is one special lady.

This morning as we approached the bus I knew that it would be a little difficult. I'd asked her earlier in the week if drivers got to keep their routes, and she let me know that it wasn't guaranteed - bummer. I know how attached you get to the kids you work with all year, it would be hard to know that I might never see them again. We both got a little teary as I expressed our thanks and she told me how wonderful Abby is (yet another reason she's a gem). We will be praying hard that she's the one driving the bus come the fall, and if I knew the number to call I would do all that I could to make sure of that - I'm not above begging!

Mrs. Davis

Mrs. Davis's "official" title is "Teacher Assistant", but really, I think it should be something like, "Chief of Child Deployment and Overseer of Student/Materials Interaction - Extraordinaire". I'm not sure the school will go for that, but they at least should tag an "Extraordinaire" onto her current title. If anyone knows how stubborn my little angel can be it is me, and so I have a high regard for anyone who can so successfully shift Abby from place to place and task to task - especially when the shift involves moving away from something she is enjoying, oh like say...recess? The fact that Abby would have a full-time aide with her (and her classmates) during lunch and recess was a big selling point when we chose the school for this year. See, Jason and I can be a bit protective of Abby, and the thought of her "on her own" during parts of the day was very scary to us. I know the kids at her school are always supervised, but they had yet to experience our little whirlwind, we just felt better knowing that Mrs. Davis would be there.

The best thing about Abby
cutting things is her mouth.
With each "chomp" of the
scissors, her mouth will
open and close - it's really cute!

I discovered as the year progressed that Mrs. Davis wasn't only invaluable for the supervision she provided during those travel and "free" times, but also for the valuable help and instruction she gave to Abby. There were so many times when I would pull something out of Abby's backpack after school and I would hear her say, "Mrs. Davis helped me!" Even tonight as I sat writing, Abby was stationed across from me, cutting pieces of paper into itty-bitty pieces, and periodically she would say, "For Mrs. Davis, Mom." I knew that she was telling me she wanted to show Mrs. Davis what a fine cutting job she was doing. I'm sure that she would be so thrilled with the confetti that Abby made tonight! Along with Abby's classroom teacher, Mrs. Davis taught Abby a wonderful foundation of facts and skills, as well as a measure of independence - and we are so grateful!

Mrs. Currie

When I think about all of Abby's teachers I marvel at how blessed we always are. Really, how can you keep getting gem after gem? I can't think of one that we weren't absolutely thrilled with, and this year was no different. When Abby's special education "team" recommended to us last year at this time to put Abby in a CI room (Which stands for Cognitively Impaired - a truly yucky name, for sure. I'd prefer something like, WJSGWNOOR "We're Just So Great We Need Our Own Room", but I'm sure that's a bit wordy - even for the politicians), I was very leery. I was absolutely convinced she needed to be in a general education classroom, and they were not going to convince me otherwise. I would NOT have my daughter shipped off to some room in the back of the building where she'd be kept until June. Luckily, Jason is very level-headed, and he convinced me that I should at least go look at the program they were suggesting. So, with my hackles firmly at attention I walked into the building and met up with the Teacher Consultant who would be showing me around. After a quick greeting she walked me down a short hallway and brought me into a bright classroom filled with all sorts of educational "goodies". I assumed she'd brought me to the kindergarten room - makes sense, show me the good part first, right? Well, kinda. She did show me the good part, but I was standing in the "CI" room. This looked a lot different than I'd imagined. 

After meeting Mrs. Currie I immediately knew this would be the place for Abby. I remember calling Jason on my way home and telling him, "Abby is going to fall in love with Mrs. Currie." And, I was right. She has such a gentle and calm way about her, as well as a happy twinkle in her eye. I wanted Abby to be in her sphere and that was that! 

As the year went on I learned more and more that Mrs. Currie wasn't just an excellent teacher, but that she was the perfect teacher for us. I say "us" because she didn't only have Abby to deal with, but me as well. I tell you what, once I got a hold of her email I was in Mommy heaven. I can't tell you how many times I wrote her throughout the year, for a variety of reasons, and she always was quick to respond. She even made sure to send several instant messages when Abby had her finger debacle. It was so wonderful for me to know I had that lifeline. All of this, coupled with the fact that throughout the year Abby learned to write her name, all of her colors (even how to read some of the names of them), counting to 10, her alphabet, the pledge of allegiance, a couple of sight words, the days of the week, and many other things (that I'll think of once I've published this post), makes me marvel at what a wonderful teacher Mrs. Currie is. 

The Dream Team: Mrs. Currie, Abby, and Mrs. Davis

Thanks to the efforts of these two lovely ladies Abby has come so far. I am so excited that we will be seeing them both next year. In the end, it was truly a spectacular year for Abby. I am so grateful to all the people that made it possible, including her super general education kindergarten teacher, the bubbly school secretary, and the phenomenal principal. Thank you all, and I hope you have a wonderful summer - you have certainly earned it!

Blog Hop - Pet Peeves

So, I am in a Facebook group called, "International Alliance of Writers for Down Syndrome: The T21 Alliance" - isn't that a great group name? It sounds galactic, like we should have uniforms and secret codes, like what we all do is important - vital even, and I think it is. Changing the minds and stereotypes of a whole world is rather galactic, don't you think? Anyway, the lovely lady who manages the group started something called a "Blog Hop" and as we all know, anything with "Hop" in the title has to be fun, right? Here's what it is. She gives us a topic on Monday, we ruminate on that topic for a few days, and then bam we all blog about it on Wednesday. This week's prompt was, "Downs kid?" - yep, that's it. In essence our "assignment" (if we choose to accept it) is to talk about what gets under our skins about what people say about our children, and what we would like them to say instead. I didn't participate last week, but I thought I would give it a go this week.

Luckily, we have not had too many experiences with negativity when it comes to Abby. We have such a strong support system, and sensitive souls around us, that I haven't had hurtful things said to us, or too many awkward moments, but there are a few things that get under my skin.

1. All children are unique - even children with Down syndrome - There seems to be a "lumping" that happens with children that have Down syndrome. I will hear some people say things like, "They are so loving," and "Oh yes, they are so stubborn." I know that people are not trying to offend, that they have the best of intentions. In fact I understand that in many cases they are paying Abby a complement (at least when they are talking about her big heart), but this bothers me - it bothers me in a big way. I think because, to me, it negates Abby's uniqueness. Abby is loving because she has gown up with a lot of love - that's it. Period. Her extra chromosome is not the "Love Chromosome". She is just like any child who is lavished with love and affection, and who turns that back to the world around them. The same is true about her stubbornness. I've talked about this before, but I am extremely stubborn. Abby comes by it honestly - I would expect any child of mine (with or without Down syndrome) to be stubborn - after all, it's only what I deserve after what I put my own mother through. So, stop lumping.
2. Abby is really seven years old - I know, I was there. - I know that Abby is small for her age, I also know that she acts younger than her years. I also know that it is surprising to most when they ask how old she is and I tell them seven. Adults are better at hiding their surprise, but kids tend to get a bit more vocal about their disbelief. I understand that, and most of the time find it funny. I love Abby just the way she is, and actually I kind of like the fact that she seems younger. Kids grow up way too fast anyway, I get to enjoy her in "kid mode" a bit longer. Today, Abby came to my school in the afternoon, because she had a half day and we didn't. The kids (especially those around her age) wouldn't let go of the fact that she's seven and seems about four. When one kid asked me, "How can that be?" I finally just said, "Because she was born in 2005, that's seven years ago." I didn't know what he was looking for, so I ended it with logic, and let Abby continue to make "sand angels" in the sandbox. For the record, this "She's seven?" is very different than the - "I can't believe she's already seven!" The first implies disbelief at her age compared to her looks and actions. The second voices disbelief at that strange aspect of time that causes years to fly so quickly that suddenly a seven year old is standing before you, telling you they want to go to their friend's house "by myself", when you could have sworn they were mere toddlers yesterday.
3. Abby goes to public school - I've had some people very kindly ask me how Abby is doing this year, and then ask, "Where is she now?" knowing that she didn't continue on at the school where I teach. When I name for them one of the area public schools, there have been some that seem surprised at this. See, in our community we have a wonderful resource - a great building for children and adults with special needs. It is a place where many who cannot function within public schools go. It is wonderful, but it is not what Abby needs. She doesn't need that much support. I think that some think she is there because she has Down syndrome. Abby goes to school like millions of other kids, she gets on a big yellow bus, marches down the hallway in a line (I'm sure wanting to be line-leader every time), eats in a cafeteria, plays on the swings, has circle time and story time, and has a nasty habit of procrastinating getting her work done (another gift from her mother) - just like a bazillion other kids, and she does it along side them. I think I'm extra sensitive to this because I know that there was a time, not too long ago, when Abby would have been sorely misjudged and not much would have been expected of her. We would have been given the advice to send her off to an institution, so no one would need to be "bothered" by her. This not only breaks my heart - it brings out Mama Bear, and so you'll have to forgive me if I'm a little touchy about this one.

There you have it, my top three pet-peeves when it comes to Down syndrome. On a day-to-day basis these things don't get to me - mainly because they happen so infrequently, but when they do happen I find my irritation level zoom to the top. I'm looking forward to "hopping" around to the other blogs, I'd invite you to do that as well - there's some really great ones out there!

Really? Could she be much cuter?

A Bright Spot

Tonight's post will be short and sweet. You see, each time I began composing the post in my head (as I typically do), I found it starting out with Abby and meandering its way back to me. Today is one of those days when I just can't seem to get past my own junk. Maybe it's the lack of sleep, maybe it's the close of another school year (a particularly difficult school year), maybe it's....well, see? Here I am back to me, and on an evening when I would like to crawl out of my head for a bit, I'm not going to subject you to my thoughts.

Therefore, I'm going to share with you my bright spot.

Here's how my day started - bright and chipper.

She decided she needed a hat - I call this look
"80 Year Old Chic".

This is Abby tolerating a trip to the grocery store after school.

But, she got a piece of string cheese out of it - so all was good.

This one needs very little explanation. Someone was
irritated with Mom because I wouldn't let her take a
drive to see some friends. I caught the moment when
she morphed into a 16 year old.

And this would a perfect picture of what makes my heart happy.

It's What Time?!?

It is certainly gearing up for a busy week. Not that I didn't see it coming, but I feel like the runner's pistol has been dispatched and we are off on a race to Friday. Let me explain what's going on. First, as I mentioned in an earlier post, Jason is out of town all week as he begins his doctoral studies, therefore I'm "single parenting" it until he gets back. It is also the last week of school, therefore the grading and grade entering crunch has begun. It is also the end of the 50th academic year of our school, so this weekend is full of activities to celebrate that.  Not only is it my last week of school, but it is Abby's last week as well, and so I've also got teacher gifts to get ready and finish purchasing. On top of all that, today was the first day of classes for the three (yes, I said three) grad classes that I will be taking for the next eight weeks. Yep, you could say that this is going to be one crazy week around here.

Wanting to stay on top of my homework, I got home from school this afternoon and hit the books right away. Soon enough Abby was home and it was the perfect time for a break. I asked how her field day went and she was able to tell me that she got to play outside. I'm sure she loved it, that kid could be perfectly content to spend her whole day in the sunshine. She was in a great mood, and we laughed as we got Bruiser howling. Soon though she found her brush and it was time for Mom to get a new "do". After a few strokes of the brush, she so kindly placed her hand over my eyes (nearly gouging them out) and I heard her making "shh, shh, shh" sounds. I realized that she was pretending to spray my hair with leave in conditioner, like we do with her when she gets those pesky snarls. That started another round of laughing.

Soon, though I decided that if I didn't want to be scalped it was time for Mom to move on. So, as I made her some dinner she stood in front of the mirror and brushed her own hair, all the while taking stock of her face. After naming all the parts of her face I made the comment that she had all the "goods" and her response? "Yes, and I like it!" Where does she get this stuff?

I love the concentration on her face. Look
at those pursed lips.

This lovely girl sat down to eat her dinner while I glued myself to my computer to get some school work done. I kept working and was periodically interrupted to find a fancy dress, get some sparkly shoes, and turn on some peppy music. Finally though, the little angel plopped down across from me and requested some paper and crayons to do some drawing. She was working so wonderfully and I was in my grove, that before long I looked at the clock and saw it was nearly 8:30. What?!? With it staying light out so long, I totally lost track of time. Oops!

We hurried up to bed where she told me she was tired and just wanted to listen to "The Lullaby Song" (a.k.a. "Lullaby (Goodnight My Angel) by Billy Joel). Before long she was sleeping soundly. So, there are a few more things to finish up tonight before I can head off to dreamland myself, but day one was a success. Let's hope we can keep up the pace as the week goes on.

This morning, as we waited for the bus, Abby wanted
to jump rope. It was a great way to start field day!

Nursery Duty

Yesterday, as we were settling in for bed, I was running through today's schedule with Abby and she was immediately thrilled that first on the list (after breakfast of course) was church. I've mentioned before that Abby spends the service in the nursery. It's not that we haven't tried having her sit with us, it's just that for a kid that never stops moving, it's hard for her to sit still and quiet for an hour. So she spends her time playing in the nursery. Usually she is the only one. I attribute much of this to where the nursery is located.  If you were to come to our church and ask where the nursery might be, you would need to be escorted by an usher - down to the basement, past the kitchen, through a steel door and a small hallway, up a few stairs, and then in the far back of the Sunday school room, is where you would finally end up. It's no wonder people don't want to leave their kids there - I'm sure they're wondering if they'll be able to find their way back to them. Someday, maybe, we'll move that nursery, but when the builders built the church (over 150 years ago) women were still sitting on one side of the aisle and men were on the other, I don't really think they were thinking about a "family friendly" church. But I've digressed....

This morning Abby was excited about church, but even more so to hear that Emma and Mrs. D had nursery duty, that they would be her playmates. Emma is one of my older students and Abby loves her - because she does what Abby tells asks her to. Emma and her mom are more than willing to play with Abby, even if that means playing dress-up or dancing in front of the huge mirrors that cover one whole wall of the nursery. The whole way to church all Abby could talk about was "seeing Emma," and "playing with Emma".

I was able to get her up to the sanctuary to greet some good friends, and even wish "Auntie Kir" a happy birthday, but then she pulled me toward the stairs and led the way to the nursery. Abby took off running and was so happy to be greeted by Emma and her mom. She didn't even notice that I left, she had a room full of toys to grab her attention. I can only imagine what Abby convinced them to go along with in that hour I was enjoying a wonderful service. By the time I came down and opened the door (that I'm sure Abby insisted on closing) I found them all "exercising" in front of the mirrors - with Abby in the lead. As Mrs. D said, "Abby would be a great aerobics teacher, but no one would be able to keep up." Those wonderful ladies played right along with my little peanut, and laughed as they ran down the list of all they'd done.

This evening I got a message from Emma's mom that they'd enjoyed the time they spent with Abby this morning - and that they were still recovering from all that dancing and exercising. I certainly laughed at that message, but it made me smile for another reason. It told me that, even hours later, they were thinking about Abby and how she'd brightened their day - just as they'd brightened hers.

On our way to church. Abby found her old glasses this
morning and wanted to wear them - despite the fact that they
were too small. They didn't even make it the whole way to church.

Church followed by a pizza lunch.

Shots of the Day

This morning, bright and early, Jason took off for college life. He is beginning his doctoral studies and part of his program requires him to be present for a few days of classes. Therefore, Abby and I are on our own for a bit. As I'm pretty tired from a day of running after my little miss, tonight I'm going to let pictures do most of the talking.

Abby throws Mom a smile as we spend a few minutes cuddling this morning.

Abby took a few turns on her bike - all by herself!

It is so much easer pedaling down the driveway, rather than up the driveway.

Bruiser didn't want to be left out.

"Bubbles, you are MINE!"

We may have to think about Track and Field at some point - look at that form!

Now that's running with gusto!

After all this play we met up with the neighbors, and their darling miniature poodle, Rufus. Abby didn't want to come back home, in fact she ran to their door, opened it, and quickly ran inside before we could stop her. In the end I had to carry her, not-so-cooperative body outside and into our house. This, along with a few other things, earned her a time-out. Needing to feel that she still had some control she took the "time-out chair" and chose a different spot. Yep, that's under the piano.

Once she served her time we had our talk and the rest
of the evening was much better.

She went to bed so sweetly, and I had quite the difficult time not falling asleep as well. So, I'm off to bed too, because I have a feeling I'm going to need all my energy tomorrow!

You Can't Have It Both Ways

This afternoon I had a lesson in "You-Can't-Have-It-Both-Ways" when I picked Abby up from school. Even though I usually pick Abby up on Fridays I was just too beat today, and contemplated running out of the school building at three and zooming home to grab a quick half hour snooze before the bus dropped Abby off. As I was overseeing the planner signing and backpack packing of my students I happened to look at my phone and see a couple of messages from Abby's teacher. It seems Abby's gotten off the "Independence Train" and suddenly needs prompting to do things that should be routine by now. I decided that the rest would have to wait so I could go talk to Abby's teacher.

We had a nice little chat while Abby played with pom poms and hugged my leg like it was a great tree and she was a happy monkey. Finally, we decided Abby's behavior was triggered by combination of things that have crept up lately. At this point Abby had gotten bored of hanging on Mom and had worked her way down to the school office. Abby's teacher and I continued talking as we followed her, but I came up short when I saw Abby, oh-so-casually, sitting at a table in the office while one of the other teachers in the building ended a long Friday by chatting with the school secretary. Yep, my kid had just plopped herself down like she she belonged there.

Now, there have been many times when I have lauded Abby's courage and self-assurance. I remember when we had Abby's very first cognitive evaluation, where basically the therapists watched how she played and interacted with her surroundings. I will never forget the first words out of the examiner's mouth as she gathered us for the results. She smiled at us and said, "Well, she certainly has confidence." Yep, that about sums it up, I don't believe there is a timid bone in that kid's body. Generally, this pleases me. I want her to have an overabundance of confidence in herself. I know enough about the world to understand that there are those who will immediately look and Abby and judge her as "less than" or "not good enough." Therefore, we have always been very deliberate about bombarding her with love, affection, and acceptance - which, truth be told, isn't hard to do. But, as I watched her grab tissues off the secretary's desk (and fake sneeze), then try to take off with a box of crayons, only to run into the principal's office and slam the door behind her, I started to wish the kid wasn't quite so confident.

Luckily the staff at Abby's school is wonderful, and she has gotten to know them enough for her to worm her way into their hearts. So when she slipped in behind the secretary, picked up her phone and a pen, and began "taking a message" no one was bothered a bit - in fact, they enjoyed her antics immensely. All good things must come to an end though, and knowing how anxious those who work at a school are to "get out of Dodge" on a Friday afternoon (especially in June), I started working on getting the kid to follow me to the car. Not wanting a big battle on my hands, I didn't go for the "grab-and-go", but I went the "Mom's leaving" route. The only problem was Abby was having a good time, in a place she's familiar with, and with people who enjoy her - this was not going to be easy.

Finally, finally I was able to get her out of the building and heading in the right direction. That's when she zoomed ahead of me - and turned a corner. She went one way, and I went the other. Once I realized that she had no idea I wasn't behind her, I let out a yell of, "I'm leaving Abby." Ah-ha! It worked and she did a 180 and began running towards me with her own yell of, "Wait! Don't leave me!" So, I slowed down and waited for her to catch up.....and then run right on past me. Panic set in as I saw she was running toward the road and that I wouldn't be able to get to her quick enough to stop her. I did see that no cars were coming, but my voice certainly got the "I'm-not-messing-around" tone as I yelled at her to stop. What did Little Miss Confidence do then? She laughed as she turned the corner on the sidewalk and started walking back to the school. That's when God intervened. Somehow the mini "Happy Birthday" balloon that she'd conned the secretary out of came off the end of the stick it was on. This gave her enough pause for me to catch up with her. I grabbed the balloon, fixed it, grabbed her, and then gave the balloon back to her. Now that I had a grip I wasn't letting go, so I marched her to the car and prayed that the school staff hadn't been watching our antics.

So you see, the boldness that I so often praise in her can be a bit of a double-edged sword. It is a tricky thing to teach a child to turn that assertiveness on and off. The fact that she knows her own mind and has a will of iron will help her in so many ways as she gets older, but sometimes I wish that mind and will more closely agreed with my mind and my will. I'm not giving up though, and we will be working hard this summer on listening skills (Abby) and patience (Mom), because I have a feeling that, "Abby, that's two!" won't work as long as I hope it will.

Yum! Popsicle!