Just a Moment

As I sit looking back on another busy day, and think about what I'm going to write about today I keep finding myself coming back to just a moment. In the scheme of things this moment was very short - only minutes, but it was the very best part of my day.

We began the day heading off to school, me for meetings and Abby to play. She was rather excited because besides the fact that she would get to play with "her kids" (the term she uses for any of her group of friends), it was field trip day. They were heading off to do some bowling. Now, if you know Abby at all you will think, Bowling? She went bowling? Isn't that a bit loud for her?, and I would respond in the affirmative. But, she's been doing so well lately, and this isn't her first time in a bowling alley, so I knew that she would be just fine. I'm happy to report that I was right. Besides, the skinned knees from falling in the parking lot (what would summer be without skinned knees?), she had a blast filling her tummy with pizza and getting her first spare! I would have loved to have seen that. She spent the rest of the afternoon playing while I finished up some work and ran a couple of errands.

I laughed when I saw this picture, she looks like
she's offering thanks for the smoothie - they do
seem a bit divine at times, don't they?

In fact, we'd both had such a good day that I decided we needed a treat. So, while Abby sucked on the popsicle I'd used to lure her out to the car, I drove to get myself a coffee. Now, it seems that Abby has come to the belief that every drive-thru window offers french fries, because as we pulled up she yelled out that she was hungry for fries. I was able to convince her that they didn't have fries, but she wasn't being put off - therefore it was a coffee for me, and a strawberry-banana smoothie for her.

Although it was pretty funny when her eyes about popped out of her head when she saw all the whipped cream on that smoothie, and her "yummy" noises were pretty cute too as she drank that strawberry goodness, these weren't the best parts of the day. That happened when we got home.

After pulling her out of the car (yes, I had to l-i-t-e-r-a-l-l-y, pull her out of the car by her feet) we ended up on the couch together. She'd told me she was hungry for a hot dog (which she wouldn't have been if she'd had more than three sips of that smoothie - oh well), but I was too tired to get going on that right away, and since I hadn't seen her all day, I wanted to spend a few quiet moments with her. I laid on the couch and she snuggled right up next to me, pressed her nose to mine, and smiled. That was it, that simple gesture got to me. Soon she couldn't take it any more and she started laughing. My first thought was, I need to record this so everyone can hear what a great laugh she has, but then I stared laughing, and before long we couldn't stop. It was one great giggle-fest. I was blowing raspberries on her arm, and then she was doing that on mine - and you know what? I'd forgotten how much they really do tickle. She thought it was so funny to make mom laugh. It wasn't long before our cackling got Bruiser to howling, which resulted in more laughs. You should have heard the noise we all were making - and it was wonderful.

Soon enough hunger won out over fun and it was time for Mom to get up and make that hot dog for her poor starving girl, but those happy moments on the couch were the best parts of my day - so that's what I wanted to write about - because that's what I wanted to remember.

Abby takes picnicking to a whole new level. She puts the
food, the entertainment, and herself all in the basket at once.

Completely Normal

Today I had a wonderful reminder of how completely normal Abby is. This morning Abby had a play-date with her teacher's daughter - her teacher's twenty-something, college graduate daughter. Mrs. C had to come in to school for a meeting, and her daughter, Chelsae was so charmed with Abby when they went on a field trip together, that she expressed an interest in hanging out if I ever needed a day off.

The original plan was to send Abby and Chelsae to the park to play while I stayed home and cleaned the house....but....then I thought it would be the perfect time to meet up with a friend for lunch. Oh, and I'd really wanted to run a few errands too. So, as usually happens, the cleaning got pushed to the side. I dropped Abby off at her school so they could play on the playground and brought her bike, in case they wanted to take a walk. Abby was excited, but as I got back in the car and was ready to drive off, I could see the confusion in her face. It was certainly a, "Wait, what's happening here?" kind of a look, but Ms. Chelsae swept in and I drove off knowing that Abby would have a blast.

It was on those errands that I "had" to do that I met a young man and his grandmother. Well, I didn't actually meet them in the formal sense of the word, but they walked in just behind me and checked out in front of me. They were also the couple that I kept running into as I wandered the store. Does that ever happen to you? Where you keep meeting up with the same people on a trip to the store? Anyway, I got to hear their conversations and each time I had to smile. Let me share them with you.

• Upon entering the store Grandma was holding Andrew (yes, I learned his name on "our" shopping trip together). 
• Grandma: Now, Andrew you need to get in the cart - either the front or the back.
• Andrew: No
• Grandma: [letting Andrew wiggle out of her arms] Well, then we won't be able to go look at the shoes....
• Later in the toy aisle Grandma and Andrew were looking at Thomas the Train sets.
• Grandma: That's Percy, you already have Percy at home don't you?
• [Andrew still clutches the Percy train and isn't convinced that Grandma knows what she's talking about]
• While walking past small appliances I heard this behind me:
• Grandma: Yes Andrew, when we get home you can open up your box and play with your trains.
• At the check out, I observed Grandma trying to load her cart with Andrew sitting in the back. The people behind her were through the line and out the door before she accomplished that.
• Finally, while walking to my car I saw Grandma loading the car, while Andrew hopped to the front seat of the car and looked like he was ready to settle in there, instead of having to sit in "his" seat in the back

With each encounter my smile got wider - not because Andrew was a cute little stinker that was giving Grandma a run for her money, but because every time I saw them, their conversations and interactions could have been Abby and me. I felt like I was watching the two of us on a shopping trip. This just drove home the fact that Abby is totally and completely normal - and I thought that was great!

If Abby were a butterfly...

Chalk drawing Abby

Angel Chelsae and Angel Abby (notice the hands on the hips).

Snack-time smiles!

A Rundown of the Day

He just wouldn't budge!

Today was a wonderful day - with Abby at her finest. She began the day in a snuggly mood (always a bonus), and that must have worked up an appetite because she polished off a bowl of Cheerios, a container of yogurt, and a cup of peaches - in rapid succession. It was a good thing that she did get that much nourishment, because from there she played a princess and a pirate, a pirate who worked very hard to get The Dread Pirate Bruiser to walk the plank - to no avail.

Once Mom was done with homework, we treated ourselves to a trip out to the fabric store. This was especially fun for several reasons. First, we ran into a good friend, and Abby being Abby immediately saw a chance for a snuggle. Janet couldn't resist the outstretched arms (who could?) and Abby wrapped herself around her as we talked. There was a moment when I wondered if she'd fallen asleep, but when I asked I heard a soft, "No" from my limp kid. She was simply enjoying her time swaying in the arms of someone who cared about her. Soon we were heading over to the cutting counter, where the nice young man started up a conversation about his brother, who happened to have been in a car accident and though he was 26, had the mentality of a 12 year old. I loved hearing about how he was "the best brother in the world". Words I needed to hear after the last few days of online reading.  The goodness didn't stop there though, because when we got to the check out the wonderful woman behind the counter told me several times how, "really beautiful" Abby is. We both left with a smile on our faces.

Desert magnets - perfect!

When we got home, Abby dug in to her painting project, and I into my sewing. She was a trooper while I was distracted, and when Dad got home she was all smiles. They had fun making a pizza together (which Abby didn't really eat, once it was finished) and then it was off for fun while Mom went out.

I got home to find those two laughing uproariously to America's Funniest Home Videos. As I joined them I realized that Jason and I were laughing more at Abby's great big belly laughs than at what was actually happening on the screen. With every, "Ooohhh!" and "Watch out!" she blurted out our laughing became louder. Finally, we totally lost it when she clamored down, stood in front of the T.V. and said, "Hey Guys! Watch me!" after which she made juggling motions and fell dramatically to the ground. She wanted our attention on her, and she got it.

Soon it was off to bed and our super day ended as it had began - with snuggles. Yep, today was a wonderful day - with Abby at her finest.

Honestly - the kid's fierce!

A Survey

I love being on summer break - I'm sure you all are surprised to hear that. One of the best things is that I can finally catch up on things I've let slide - like housework. At the end of the day when school is over, homework is finished, Abby is in bed, and my blog post is written, I have no motivation to haul out the vacuum and hunt down those dust bunnies that have taken up residence under the piano. So, this morning I got going on things right away. Abby even helped me with the floors, and didn't protest too loudly at the noise it took to clean them - a.k.a. the vacuum. 

Abby and I have had a very enjoyable morning with me toggling between classwork and housework, and Abby enjoying various art projects, broken up by periodic snack breaks. One of the great things though is that I now have the ability to do my blog post earlier in the day - that is if Abby provides me with the needed material. 

Today's blog post, though didn't really need any of Abby's antics. It came to mind almost immediately after I posted yesterday's entry. Once I was finished last night I took the time to read through some other blog posts and I came across this one from Michelle who blogs at "Big Blueberry Eyes". I would encourage you to take the time to read through it, and hopefully you will be as horrified as I was. She talks about a blogger who supports prenatal testing for the purpose of diagnosing Down syndrome, and encourages aborting those children. The following quote seems to sum up her point: "Down's Syndrome will (hopefully) eventually be another one of the crippling, hindering conditions of mankind eliminated from our genome." She goes on to give more of her opinion that I will not quote, because I will not spew her voice here (nor will I provide the link to her post, because I will not support ignorance). Now, I am not naive enough to think that there are not those out there who fall victim to old stereotypes and think that people with Ds take more than they give, but I was taken aback at the absolute disregard for another's life. The hate and anger fairly oozes from the screen, and if I could choke down some of my own anger I might feel sorry for her - might. If this were but one person I could handle it a bit better (maybe), but sadly she is not. It is not merely individuals that would discard Abby, but a whole country. Yes, that's what I said - a whole country wants to banish people that happen to be born with one extra chromosome. In Michele's post she referenced an article from 2011 that reported on the efforts of Denmark to become a "Down Syndrome - free perfect society" What?!? Is this really where we are headed? You mean to tell me there is a whole nation who thinks this world would be a better place without people like Abby? In short, I was stunned.

This got me thinking, and wondering, just how many lives my kiddo has touched in a positive way. So, I'd like to do an informal survey. Now, by a show of hands, tell me how many of you have:

• ever smiled at, liked, or commented on at a picture I've posted of Abby?
• ever smiled at, liked, commented on, laughed out loud at, or told someone else about a story I've told about Abby?
• recently seen someone with Down syndrome and thought about Abby?
• changed your mind about what having "special needs" really means, because of Abby?
• ever hoped that one day you would meet Abby in person (if you haven't already)?
• ever had your day brightened by Abby?
• ever thought that, "Yes, the world would be a better place without someone as "abnormal" as Abby"?

That last one was a trick question, but maybe it got you thinking. Is this really were we want to go as a society? I know that Abby has impacted many in her short life - lives that I will never know about, and who will never read this post. She has absolutely changed who I am - for the better, and I know others that would say the same thing. I can only have faith that her voice, and the voices of others like her, will be heard over the clamoring of those who cannot see the beauty in God's perfect plan. 

Abby was crooning this afternoon. Ba-ba-ba-boo!

I call this one, "Oh, Mom...."

Bribery

I am not above bribing my kid. I don't want to say we do it often, but there are some times when it is so much easier to dangle a dollar ice cream cone in front of her rather than fight a battle I'm not sure I could win. I don't feel too badly about the bribing we do because it is always initiated by us, by that I mean that she has never said she wouldn't do something unless she got something in return. The bribe is really just a way to refocus her attention on a future reward, instead of what is happening in the moment. Usually, we keep things simple (and cheap) like an ice cream cone, or a play-date with a favorite friend, but when we really want her cooperation we enlist the help of Barbie - today was such a day.

I'd noticed Abby's runny nose at the end of last week, and yesterday after her night at Nana and Papa's I saw that things hadn't gotten much better, in fact, her eye now looked a bit red and angry. This is not uncommon. When Abby gets a cold it will typically find its way into her eyes. It didn't look too terrible, so I wasn't very concerned. This morning, though when she woke up she pointed to her eye and said, "Mama, my eye." It was then that I saw her right eye was totally crusted shut - this was a sure sign that pink eye had come for a visit.

I had a church service that I needed to be at - a culminating celebration of a year long observance of the 50th anniversary of the school where I teach. I had several leading roles in the service and so there was no question I needed to be there. I was hoping that the rest of my family would be joining me, but those crusty eyes made that impossible. Jason would need to stay home with Abby.

When I got home her eye actually looked worse, and so because it was Sunday I knew I couldn't just call up her doctor for a quick visit. I herded her into the car and we were off to the urgent care facility. As we pulled up I realized that the outside looked an awful lot like a hospital. When Abby refused to come out of the car I knew that a lousy vanilla cone was not going to cut it today. So, I played my ace-in-the-hole, I promised that once we were done she could pick out a Barbie doll and that got her moving.

I have to say that she did a spectacular job all on her own, and I was happy that I was able to talk her through the rough patches. The hardest part was getting her to go to a new space, for example going from triage to the waiting room, and the waiting room to the exam rooms. I understand that she's had so many frightening experiences with doctors, that there are times when I'm surprised she does as well as she does. She was a champ during the "vitals" check and only cried a bit when we wanted her to stand for her height and get on the scale check her weight (heck, I totally get that). She even laughed all the way through the doctor's exam, telling him he was a, "funny doctor". The verdict was not surprising - pink eye. So, with script in hand we headed out, but not before Abby hugged the leg of our nurse and said so sweetly, "Thank you, Doctor!" We then exited the building with loud proclamations of, "I did it!" and "All better now!"

The next stop was the store. She'd told me while we were waiting for the doctor that she wanted a Barbie with blue hair. At that point I didn't care if they actually made dolls with blue hair, I just agreed that she would get exactly what she wanted. Luckily, it didn't take us long to get to the store, and the doll aisle. Once I could see past all the pink I was able to search out just what she'd asked for feeling triumphant when I found it. She, of course, had already set her sights on the $25 Monster High super pack, but once I put that blue haired doll in her hand (the blue haired doll that was on sale) she was perfectly content. She even remembered the rule that we don't open packages until we get to the car.

I was able to rip that doll free of her confines in record time and by the time we'd gotten home, she'd already pulled off and discarded the doll's feet, but that was alright. She'd earned her prize and she could have it just how she wanted it. "Lexa" (the blue-haired doll) helped when it came time for the drops too, because she got some first and then it was Abby's turn. All in all, it was completely worth the eleven dollars I'd invested.

Here we are, three days into summer vacation and we are already on meds. The great thing though, is that tomorrow we can lay low, something I'd planned on anyway. Hopefully we won't have reason to make any more Barbie purchases for the rest of the summer!

Lexa apparently is a rocker, which isn't
surprising, considering her hair color.

An Hour and a Half

Today I only got to spend about an hour and a half with Abby. She stayed a bit longer at Nana and Papa's because I had a school function this afternoon, and then it was on to grocery shopping for me. By the time I got home, I took one look at Abby and marveled that she was still standing. She looked exhausted. A night with Nana and Papa will do that to you.

Who wants popcorn?
"I do!"

I talked with Nana earlier today day and she told me that last night they'd had a full fledged sleepover. They'd all hunkered down in the living room with pillows, blankets, and popcorn. Eventually, Papa fell asleep and Abby and Nana finished watching Angelina Ballerina. The plan was to let Abby stay up until she fell asleep on her own. Last time she spent the night, Abby had a bit of a bad patch when it came to bedtime. She is a creature of habit, especially when it comes to bedtime. The problem is that it is good for Abby to be away from us from time-to-time, but it is difficult for her. The solution was not to just keep her home and not let her stay overnight there. Nana checked around - asking advice from other moms and grandmas that she knew and they suggested that when Abby came over they make a special time out of it. They would get her a sleeping bag, set things up in front of the T.V., and let her stay up however late she wanted. After all, one night wasn't going to hurt her, and an hour later of watching her favorite shows was a whole lot better than an hour of crying because she missed Mom and Dad.

For her overnight this time around I packed her pillow pallet and some favorite movies, and hoped the plan worked. It seems that it was a success, because when I called this morning I heard the funny story that Abby and Papa had spent the night on the couch, while Nana slept in the recliner. Nana was pretty sure that Abby had outlasted both of them, and had been the last one to fall asleep. When she woke up at 1 a.m. she saw Papa and Abby fast asleep, and afraid that a move might wake the sleeping princess, Nana just covered up and went back to sleep herself.

For playtime outside Abby decided that she needed all
the clothes I'd packed on - at the same time. What's a girl
to do when she can't decide what to wear

The day began in earnest for them at 6:30 a.m. with some blueberry pancakes, only to be followed by some playtime outside. I know their day was filled with dancing, laughing, singing, and a bit more dancing before Jason met up with them around 2:00 to bring her home.

I can only assume that Nana and Papa are as tired (if not more so) than Abby. Tonight she "hit the wall" as we say, around 6:00 when she asked for a bath. Up she went for some time in a warm tub and then it was off to cuddle with Mom. She made it half way through the program we watched on the iPad before her feet stilled and her eyelids got heavy. Her breathing deepened as I slowly turned the iPad off and put it away. I laid there a bit longer, with her sleeping in my arms, enjoying the time with her. Even though I didn't have a lot of time with her today, it was still a great day with Abby, because any day that ends with her snuggled beside me is great.

Abby (and Pocoyo), happy to see Dada!

Summer Here We Come

Ahhh, summer vacation - it is official - with the close of tonight's graduation service we are now on break until fall. Abby's summer vacation began yesterday, so this morning she came to school with me and hung out at child care while I finished up my year with my students. She was so thrilled to be able to come to "mama's school".

As we went and picked her up a donut for breakfast she talked nonstop in the back of the car. I had to smile because I had missed this so much. I'd forgotten how great it is to spend my mornings driving with Abby to school. When we pulled into the school she let out a loud Woop! and yelled, "Were here! Mama's school!" After this she wanted to make sure that she would have an unfettered chance to play, so she told me, "Mama, you go teach and I go play outside." I assured her that I would not get in the way of her fun.

She got out of the car and marched happily into the school, stopping only to show "Uncle Clint" (one of my fellow teachers) her sprinkle coated treasure at the bottom of the bag she was carrying. As I watched her walk into the building I had to laugh, it was like the whole year of not being there had never happened, but with several important differences that I would see soon. She stopped to give the principal a big hug and proceeded down the hallway, throwing out happy "Good morning"'s to everyone she passed. She breezed by one of the child care workers and plopped down at one of the tables and began her breakfast. With a quick kiss I was off, and Abby was happy. How far we had come. In the previous year there were times when Abby needed to be peeled off of me in order for me to go to my classroom. There were also times when as soon as Abby got in that child care room the door need to be shut, least she escape and run to another part of the building. She had grown so much this year and seeing her at school today helped me see just how much.

There was a time that when she was waiting in the hall with her class I would need to duck quickly into one of the classrooms or behind a door so she wouldn't see me, otherwise it would become another struggle to get her back where she needed to be. So, as I was walking down to the gym today, with my class following behind me, I grew a little nervous as I looked over and saw Abby standing in a line waiting to go outside. Abby soon saw me and her face lit up. She ran to me and gave me a big hug and a wonderful greeting, then ran back to get in line, happy as a clam to have seen mom, and to be heading out to play. I was so proud of her.

Soon enough school was over and we were taking off, stopping to chat with a few people she hadn't seen in a bit. What a wonderful way to start my summer vacation - with a fine example of how much my little girl has grown and matured.

Because I had graduation tonight, and Jason wasn't home
yet, Abby would have a fun night at Nana and Papa's for
a sleepover. I had to laugh because she looked so exhausted
and we hadn't even gotten there yet. I warned Papa of this
and got a text later that she' d gotten her second wind.