A Mother's Role

Today, as I thought about the fact that tomorrow is Mother's Day, I couldn't help but reflect on all the "jobs" a mother does - I couldn't help it because every time I turned around Abby was "assigning" me a new role. Here are just a few.

Mom - The Doctor

We are still playing "Doctor's Office" each time Abby needs her finger poke. She rides the elevator, I check my computer and call her back to my office. As she sits on the "exam table" we chat about how her day is going, and in no time at all we are done and bandaging her finger with a Hello Kitty band-aid.

Mom - The Restauranteur

By the time dinner rolled around Abby was ready to be catered to. I was to show her to her seat and then take her order - she even made sure that I had my notepad and pencil to get it right. I told her tonight's special (spaghetti with sauce) and that it came with a cold glass of milk. She told me that would be great, and I assured her that I would be back soon with her meal. She was very polite as she thanked me for my service. Although a tip was conspicuously absent.

After dinner I became the "Ice Cream Lady". As I prepared her chocolate ice cream cone, she stood next to me smiling so sweetly. After the hand-off, she happily ran from the room yelling, "Thank you, Ice Cream Lady!"

Mom - The Stylist

Since she'd had a yummy chocolate ice cream cone for dessert, she also had a lovely chocolate ice cream beard by the time it was done. Therefore we trotted off to the bath soon afterward. When we came downstairs afterward, she not only consented to having me comb her hair, but she plopped down in front of her mirror, asked for a cape, and told me she needed a hair cut. I jumped at the opportunity to even up some of the ends she wouldn't let me at a few weeks ago when I first cut her hair. As I was trimming Abby suddenly asked for "black hair". I clarified that she wanted me to dye her hair black. She affirmed that's what she wanted. I think I said something like, "That's never going to happen," but she continued to plead for it. I told her that as her stylist, I really couldn't recommend that change, it just wouldn't look good with her coloring. Luckily she dropped it after that.

Mom - The Teacher

This morning Abby wanted math. Yes, that's right, she wanted to do some math and she made sure to tell me that I was not to turn on the TV while she worked. So, I pulled out the counting teddy bears and we got to counting and patterning. That didn't seem to be enough though, because after a bit she closed the book and asked for "work". I took this to mean worksheets, so I drew some up. We matched numbers and counted dots - this seemed to satisfy her math need.

Later it was time for some language arts, so we wrote a book - a compelling story about a red flower. It was Abby's idea for it to be dancing in the breeze. I illustrated, she colored, and then she read the story to Daddy. He was suitably impressed.

All of you moms out there have your own stories of the different roles you play throughout the day. You are negotiators, referees, chauffeurs, cheerleaders, entertainers, and materials managers - to just name a few. Hopefully tomorrow you will also be extra appreciated for all that you do.

Happy Mother's Day!

Color me happy!

Teddy Bear Math

A hot day calls for a cold popsicle.

Positively Abby

One of the greatest things is that no matter what craziness is happening in our lives, Abby remains Abby. She continues to be joyful, precocious, sweet, and imaginative. A perfect example of this is how Abby has been getting her shots and finger pokes of late.

The rooms may change, sometimes we are in the dinning room and sometimes we are in her bedroom, but the procedure is always the same. Here's how it usually goes:

"Doctor Mom" or "Doctor Dad" gets all the gear ready, while Abby runs to a corner of the room. See, this is her riding the elevator to the "Doctor's office". As I make sure I've got the band aide and glucometer ready, Abby "beeps" and "boops" herself to the right floor.

Next, Abby will remind me that I need to consult my computer - to see who my next patient is, of course. "Dr. Mom" is always so happy to see that Abby is up next. That's when I have to go on the PA to call Abby back to my exam room.

As soon as she hears her name, her face lights up and she "swooshes" open the elevator door. We greet each other with a handshake and she takes her seat across from me. We chat about her day, and I ask where she would like her finger poke or her shot. And here's the thing that always gets me - she never loses her smile as she gives me her answer. As she tells me about her "crazy dream", or what she learned that day in school, we get things taken care of. Everything is so quick and easy, that I think we both are a bit surprised when everything is over. That's when she'll look at me and say, "I did it! I'm brave!" I always agree with her.

Yes, Abby is ever positive. Leave it to her to make something that could be so difficult, into fun pretend play.

Have I mentioned how much I love that kid?

Dazzling!

Friday Phone Dump - A Day Late

Yesterday, as I was driving home from school, I thought it would be a perfect day to write a post, more specifically a "Friday Phone Dump".  I had all sorts of cuteness on my phone, just waiting for a broader audience. Sure most of them had already been posted to Facebook, but who wouldn't want to see them all again - all in one spot?

Then, Jason zipped back to work for an event, Abby and I decided on spaghetti and meat balls for dinner, we colored, we snacked, and then it was off to the tub. By the time Abby was fast asleep, all I was fit for was sitting under my afghan and vegging in front of the T.V......that was until I found I'd drifted off.

So, here's the Friday Phone Dump - a day late.

After Abby's first (three hour) "diabetes" doctor appointment we thought she certainly deserved
a trip to the toy store. She picked out this flashy (literally) mic and amp set - I'm sure no one
is surprised. She enjoyed a fun-filled day of singing and dancing....that was until she got the flu.

Daddy also splurged for some make-up. She couldn't get enough of
the eyeshadow and lip gloss. Oh, boy........

Pedicure - Abby style!
BTW: Could her toes be any cuter? Don't think so!

The flu kept us home on Monday. The bright spot of the day was the surprise friend that
ended up on our doorstep. Abby now believes that every box that arrives at our door holds
a surprise for her. Thanks, Aunt Debbie and Uncle Charlie!

Wreck-It-Ralph had to get his sugar checked after Abby had her turn. According to Abby
his number was a shocking 27....the poor guy!

Yesterday Abby didn't have school, so Daddy took a day off and they headed out
to Nana and Papa's for some fun. Abby found the ultimate dress-up dress.

She's Got This!

There are many, many good things about Abby, but one of the best is that you can't keep her down. She is probably the most positive person I know, and she takes everything in stride.

Yesterday was Abby's first day back to school. I went with her in the morning, and was there for snack time, and to administer her lunchtime dose of insulin. I was also able to sit down and go through her dietary and medicinal needs with her teachers. I told others that my being there was a way of "easing" her back into the routine, but as I sat in the former nurse's office, waiting to take her blood sugar and give her insulin, I was able to watch her play at recess from the window. I watched her running, hand-in-hand, with her friends. I watched her laughing and drawing rainbows on the sidewalk. I even watched her steal a ball from a couple of kids, and then run off, hoping to claim it as her own - the stinker. In essence, I watched her being a happy kid. I knew then that any "easing" was for me and not for her. She'd bounded back into the routine of school with the same gusto that she did most everything else. It was I who needed the reassurance that everything would be alright.

When she happily bopped into the office, holding her lunch bag, she greeted me with a happy, "Hi, Mom!" She then proceeded to blow me away by standing for her finger poke and shot without a peep. In under a minute we were finished and she was walking back to lunch, holding her teacher's hand.

Wow.

Pride and hopefulness washed over me in a wave. Throughout all of this I've known that everything would be alright - yesterday I felt that everything would be alright.

Today was another good day. She still is struggling with her evening regimen. By the end of the day she doesn't want any more "medicine" and she doesn't want to pick a finger for the poke. She doesn't want to hear that she can't have a second helping of cereal, or she has to wait for tomorrow morning to have her yogurt, because she's met her carb quota for the night. I can't blame her - not one bit, but the fact that the morning and afternoon go so smoothly fills me with such hope.

The last two days have helped me remember that through all of this we are dealing with Abby, and she is one amazing kid....and she's got this!

I think we both enjoyed the fact that Mom got to help with her
morning work - she did a fabulous job, of course!

It's a bit blurry, but Abby is the one in green amidst that group hug.
Now this makes my heart happy.

Worries

I like to tell myself that medicine is an exact science, that every "problem" has a clear and concise solution. If you have a headache - you take a pill. If you brake a bone - you get it set and immobilized. If you have diabetes - you take insulin. I keep learning though, that despite the fact that there are constants, there are far more variables. Medicine is much like teaching in that regard. Just as every student is different, and every strategy doesn't work for every child - every body is different, and even though we got several books on diabetes, none of them where entitled: "Diabetes for Abby".

The last few days have been surreal, to say the least. I don't think I've still fully wrapped my head around the fact that food logs, eating schedules, pokes, and shots are our new norm. Each night, after Abby has gone to sleep, I take time to get things done that I couldn't do when she was awake, and then I head to bed. In short, I haven't had a lot of "down-time" to think and I realized today that this may have been a bit of a blessing.

Yesterday was the first day that Abby and I were on our own for any length of time, since Jason had to head back to work in the afternoon. We had a great time, and even got in a walk (where she filled me in on all sorts of things, like rainbows and unicorns). She even helped with her pre-dinner finger poke, by holding her glucometer. It was when I read 474, though that it clicked why she'd been so thirsty after our walk. That was high, way too high. The instructions we were given said that if her sugar level went above 400 we were to call - and call I did. Luckily, Abby has a wonderful doctor, and I was able to talk directly to him. He changed her insulin dosage and talked me down. Maybe that's when my worries began. Since he'd upped her insulin, would she be okay during the night? Those worries spilled over into today.

One of my questions today prompted me to call the Diabetes Center in town. While talking to a nurse I learned that physical activity can cause both high and low blood sugar, it just depended on the person. I also learned that both high and low sugar can cause sleepiness. In essence, some of the symptoms for both highs and lows are the same. I began to wonder, If the symptoms are the same, how am I ever supposed to know what I'm supposed to do? I can't be pricking the poor kid's finger every time she feels sweaty, or stops moving for more than a few minutes.

These thoughts, along with the fact that tomorrow we will be easing her back into school, left me feeling tired and overwhelmed. It was while I was doing dishes that I was struck with the sudden urge to weep - and since Abby was playing in the other room I felt "safe" to let go. As I worked I let the gulping sobs come out and the tears roll down my face. It was a release I needed.

I came to the realization that diabetes has robbed me of a bit of my joy. Now, when Abby is dancing or running, I can't just sit back and enjoy without wondering what her activity is doing to her blood sugar. It has even spilled over into her pretend play. The last few days, when we've played "check-up", along with listening to our hearts and looking in our ears, she now includes poking fingers and "getting medicine" as a part of the routine - this breaks my heart.

My mind knows that things will get better, but right now my heart hurts.

A couple of buddies enjoying the nice weather. 

After our walk Abby decided that our driveway would look much better
with a nice pink rainbow. I agree!

Daddy was the hero today because the Incredibles outfit that he'd ordered
arrived. I think it is very fitting, don't you? She IS pretty incredible.

Incredible Abby reading through the stack of cards that my class sent.
Have I mentioned how wonderful my students are?

Pivotal Points

After we got Abby's diagnosis of Down syndrome I remember needing some time to process what that all meant. I remember thinking that this would be a pivotal moment in our lives, that from that point on things would be very different than we'd ever expected.

Soon enough Down syndrome became "normal". It was no longer something we just read about in books. It wasn't a bunch of statistics or perceptions. It became a part of who we are as a family and in many ways became a blessing in disguise.

Yesterday we had another pivotal moment.

For about a week now Abby has been having accidents. This is not the norm for her. It took her a while to get potty trained, but once she was, she was a pro. The accidents were few and far between (usually when she didn't want to stop playing), and she never wet the bed. My first thought when this changed was that it was a phase. I've learned with Abby that sometimes we take giant leaps forward, only to take a few steps back. Maybe this was one of those.

Since she'd been fighting a cold as well, I didn't think too much about her increased fluid intake....until Wednesday. No matter how much she drank, she couldn't get rid of her thirst. She drank so much that she didn't have any room for food, and yet she still told me over and over again how thirsty she was. I knew - I knew with every fiber of my "Mommy Sense" that something was not right.

The next day we were able to see Abby's doctor and he confirmed our fears, Abby has type 1 diabetes. We were to head directly to the hospital, where she would be admitted for several days while they got her blood sugar under control, regulated her insulin, and gave us a crash course in everything we would need to know.

Thankfully we were put in good hands, and they didn't throw too much information at us as we worked to get Abby settled and comfortable in her new environment. As the day progressed I watched her fight the finger pokes and shots, trying desperately to keep my composure and not let her see the storm inside me. All the while we had doctors and nurses assuring us that before long, this all would become routine, another part of our daily routine.

How?

I just couldn't wrap my head around that, and I'm still trying to do that nearly 24 hours later. Last night, as I lay in a bed next to Abby, not sleeping, I couldn't help but think that we've once again reached a point at which from here on out our lives will not be the same. New words like, "ketones", "islet cells", and "lancet" have entered our vocabulary. We've been given a backpack filled with information books, cook books, and "gear". We will meet with an army of specialists from our endocrinologist to a dietitian, who will help us understand where to go from here. As I thought about all of this last night, I still gave thanks, because even though we will need to make changes - everything is manageable. There are far too many who's "pivotal points" are far more devastating. I am so thankful that Abby is in a place where she will get the help she needs and the medicine she requires to keep her healthy. How could I not be so very grateful that things had played out as they had?

Today will be a day of learning for Jason and me, and a time for Abby gain a new crew of fans. She's already begun charming the nurses and doctors with her sweet smiles and grateful attitude. She is resilient. She is strong. She is my hero.

Dr. Abby! She was thrilled right away to see her "scrubs" and so the
nurses have taken to calling her "Dr. Abby", they've even given her
some gear!

Not one who spends many nights away from home, I knew the night would be tough. She
did well though. Neither of us got much sleep, but she's a trooper.

I don't know if I've ever seen Abby so excited over a plate of bacon.
I literally had to hand her pieces so she didn't shovel them all in at once.
The poor thing was so hungry!

Our Cup Overflows

The fact that we've gotten to spend a whole week in Abby's constant company has made a few things crystal clear - she is growing up quickly and has come so very far. As you can imagine this makes me sad and ecstatic at the same time.

Tonight was a perfect example of what I mean. In the span of about 45 minutes I was able to accomplish tasks with Abby that a few short years ago would have taken at least double that - if we could accomplish them at all. I was able to clip her nails, wash her hair, floss and brush her teeth, and administer eye drops....all with absolutely no issues, in fact we had a great time with lots of giggles.

I can scarcely believe that the Abby of tonight is the same child that could barely tolerate having her hair brushed, or the child that would have regular melt-downs when she was presented with something unexpected. She has come so incredibly far, and become such a lovely young lady. A young lady who fills our day to the brim with joy. Yes, our cup is certainly overflowing.

Abby mugging for the camera before we did some baking.

She then decided that the inside of the bunt pan looked better as a hat.

This little face brings so much joy....it's impossible to express it all in simple words.