What We Did on Our Summer Vacation

One week. One week from today we will be running around, packing lunches and backpacks, hustling through breakfasts, and getting pictures by the "picture tree". One week from today Abby and I will be heading back to school.

We are both ready. I love the start of school, the new opportunities, the new plans and ideas, and all the new school supplies.  Every day for the last couple of weeks Abby has either asked, "School today?" or told me, "I'm so excited for school to start!" As much as we are both ready for some structure and socializing, I am incredibly sad to see the summer come to an end. It was a wonderful summer - the best yet, in fact. So, I thought I would answer that age old question, the one teachers all over the country ask their students the first week of school - here's what we did on our summer vacation.

Swimming Lessons

I swear, Abby would spend the whole day in water if she could. In order to avoid my panic every time she approaches more than three inches of water, we thought it prudent to enroll her in some swimming lessons. So, two days a week Abby and I trotted down to the local Y where she had the opportunity to learn and practice the basics. I think the only time she didn't have a smile on her face was when the class had to "sit on the wall" and wait for their individual turns to swim.

She was always the happiest when she was in
the water - a trait inherited from Daddy.

We also got to spend time out at the lake this summer.
It's a hard, but someone's got to do it!

Shopping

This may sound silly, but we did a ton of grocery shopping this summer - and that is kind of a big deal. It was though our trips to the grocery store that I was able to see just how much Abby has grown and matured. Gone are the days when she would run off to steal someone else's grocery cart, or when I needed to maintain an iron grip on her at all times. Imagine my amazement when I could push the cart and she would obediently trail behind (granted she was about 3 feet behind because she was so distracted by everything, but she was there), and she would even help out by putting things in the cart.

We always had to take a ride on "Sandy" once
a successful shopping trip was done. The incentive
for good behavior was well worth the penny.

Abby is convinced she is the one who magically
makes the doors close after we leave a store. We
always have to stop so she can close them 3 or 4 times - at least.

The Cottage

It had been quite a while since we'd been up to the family cottage, and so when Daddy took some vacation time, we headed north. It took Abby a couple of days to settle into a new place, but when she did we all had a wonderful time. Boat rides, swimming, and playing outside made the cottage a veritable haven for Abby.

Abby has a standing invitation at the neighbor's swing set.
Her squeals of delight could be heard across the lake, I'm sure.

Happy girl.

She couldn't wait to go swimming, and had
to have a "doo-rag" just like Nana!

Doctors Appointments

Well, you have to take the good with the bad, and we had both in this category. Let's start with the good. Abby had a follow up appointment with her diabetes doctor. He couldn't say enough about how well she is doing, in fact, he told us she had the best numbers of the day. I was so proud of all of us, and this kept me riding high for a while. We also had Abby's yearly check-up with the cardiologist. I have to admit I was dreading this one. They wanted to do an echo cardiogram, the one that is basically an ultrasound of your heart....the one that requires a dark room and holding still, neither of which are Abby's favorites. The last time they did one of these they had to knock her out. Thankfully the people at the children's hospital are wonderful and know just what to do to put a scared little girl at ease. Bless those doctors who had the patience to take Woody's EKG and Jesse's blood pressure. Because of them, Abby did fabulously, and came away with another wonderful report.

The patience of the doctors never cease to amaze me. This
super doctor even took the time to find a cuff that would fit
Jesse (sort of) and went through the whole process of taking her
blood pressure. There's a reason he is the only one who has ever
gotten Abby to do her blood pressure - and with a smile no less!

Unfortunately, not everything was great in the health department this summer. Abby ended up with a nasty case of the flu (which she shared with me, wasn't that nice of her?), and we ended up in the emergency room. Luckily it was a short stay, and she recovered quickly. Even though that's the last place I wanted to be, I was once again impressed with Abby's bravery; she got her IV like a pro.

You can see by her eyes how dehydrated she is here.
Even through it all, she could smile. What a trooper.

Playing & Visiting

Since summers are a bit of a "working holiday" for teachers, Abby did a lot of playing, both with buddies and on her own, when Mom had to get some work done for the classes I am taking, or when I needed to get into my classroom to get stuff done.

We also had some friends and family over, as well as got to go to visit them. This was so good for our little social butterfly.

If Mom was working....Abby needed to as well.

There was always time for being a princess.

She even gave some percussion lessons to this cutie.

The little cowgirl isn't always happy, but thankfully
those moments are few and far between.

We got to meet Grandma's new doggie - Lilly!

It took a bit, but eventually Abby was okay with her jumping up.
I couldn't help but laugh that Abby can boss around an 80+ pound
German Shepherd like nobody's business, but a 7 pound little dog would
send her running and scrambling for the couch.

So there it is in a nutshell - our wonderful summer. It will be greatly missed, but the memories are priceless!

Father's Day

Fathers are special guys - especially Jason. From the moment Abby came into this world he was by her side. As soon as the helicopter carrying our little angel took flight, he followed behind, braving the snow and ice to meet her at the bigger hospital that could help her. I was a bit out of it for a few days, but when I finally was able to see Abby, I saw right away that she already had Jason firmly wrapped around her tiny fingers.

That month in the hospital not only helped me get to know my new daughter, it also showed me a side of Jason that I had never seen. Oh, he remained the rock-solid man I'd married, but there was also a calm that settled upon him that I'd never known. See, Jason was famous for his inability to relax. Frankly, the guy never sat still - at least for long. So, you can imagine my surprise when I saw that he was able to sit for hours beside Abby's isolette. All day, each day, he would sit beside her and watch over her.

Whenever I think of that time, etched in my mind was one of those first days. I remember it being evening, and I was exhausted. Thankfully, the hospital had a hotel, of sorts, where families could stay if there children were there. We'd spent the day with Abby, and I decided it was time to get some rest so we could do it all again in the morning. As I prepared to go Jason turned to me and said, "I'm just going to stay a bit longer." When I reached the door to the ward, I turned to look back at my little family. There sat Jason, with his head slightly tilted, watching Abby sleep - just as he'd done all day. He kept watch over his little girl. I know he wanted her to know that he was there - that he would always be there for her.

A bond was struck in those early days, a bond that I have been blessed to watch grow into a great love.  Yes, fathers are special guys, but one stands out in my mind for the love and devotion he has for his very special little girl.

Happy Father's Day to the very best dad I know.

What We Dread

I realize that it has been quite a while since my last post - life around here has a way of stealing time like that. While we have been quite busy, and Abby has had lots of hijinks, there is a more pressing issue that is on my heart, and so the "let's catch up" post will have to wait until next time.

After today's afternoon errand, and chatting with a friend on Facebook, I got to thinking about what the parents of special needs children dread. I am, in no way, shape, or form, a spokesperson for every parent of a special needs child, but I do have some experience with this, and thought it might be worth sharing some of the fears I think we have in common.

What We Dread

Doctor's Appointments

You would think with all of the extra doctor's visits we sometimes have, that we would be used to sitting in that office - we aren't. We, like our children, have learned many times that a visit to the doctor can be painful. It may be because we are waiting to hear some news, or test results, that have the potential to shake our world. It may be because the doctor will need to examine our child's ears, and we know that will require an intense wrestling hold, while our frightened little one screams until blood vessels break out on her face. It may be because our child is not great about understanding boundaries, and doesn't understand that running into the doctor's back office, or trying on the nurses shoes in the staff closet, isn't really the thing to do. Whatever it is, a trip to the doctor's office is rarely "routine".

Negative Comments

There are some people that "mean well" when they say things like, "Oh, it must be so hard..." or "God picks special people like you to have a special needs child - I know I could never do it," but negativity is negativity, even if it is proceeded by a complement, or couched in "understanding".

There are some, though who don't seem to care what they say - those small-minded, fearful people who imagine you can't hear them - or don't care all together that you can. These are the people we "practice" for. The ones that we create in our heads, so we aren't surprised into silence because of their rudeness. The injustice of the fact that our children have done nothing to deserve anyone's pity or scorn is not lost on us. We know that, to some, it is okay to think less of our precious children - and not a problem to take the extra step to vocalize that to their friends, the public, or even directly to us.

Other Children

Children are wonderful, but they also can be extremely blunt. Questions like, "Why does she talk like that?" or "Why does she look funny?" immediately sends us into protection mode. We, like all parents want our children to be liked and accepted by their peers, but their delays and differences sometimes make that a challenge. There is a fear that crawls into my throat each time Abby approaches a child she doesn't know and declares that they are her friend, and proceeds to chatter on about her day. Will the child accept her sincere overture, or will they run away without a word? Abby may not realized she's been rejected, but I do, and that is a horrible feeling.

When children are young this fear is less. I dread the teen years, not because of any teenage defiance or angst, but because I am so afraid Abby will not be accepted by her peers.

Triggers

There are certain things I am "on guard" for with Abby. For a while it was loud noises and big open spaces. These would send her screaming for this hills - or into my arms, where she would shake like a leaf. Now it seems that leaving is a problem. She loves going places, but doesn't always want to leave them - and she is not above creating a scene when necessary.

Some special needs children have "triggers", things that will disrupt an otherwise smooth errand or event. Parents know their children well and keep a keen eye out for any such triggers, in the hopes of avoiding them. I am sad to say that there have been times when I've avoided an event all together, because I just didn't have the fight in me that day. I dread Abby's triggers.

I know there are other "dreads", but these were the most immediate today. I share these with you, not for you to "feel bad" for me/us, but in the hopes of creating a bit more understanding. I've been trying really hard lately to remember that no one has a perfect life - it isn't possible down here on earth. Who knows what has happened in someone's day by the time you come across them. If I keep that in my head I am able to be more careful (full of care) with the people I encounter, it's when I forget that, that my selfish side rules. 

In the end I take a leaf from Abby's book. She is an expert at brightening the days of those she encounters. Thankfully, she is there to remind me to do the same.

Pure Joy

A Mother's Role

Today, as I thought about the fact that tomorrow is Mother's Day, I couldn't help but reflect on all the "jobs" a mother does - I couldn't help it because every time I turned around Abby was "assigning" me a new role. Here are just a few.

Mom - The Doctor

We are still playing "Doctor's Office" each time Abby needs her finger poke. She rides the elevator, I check my computer and call her back to my office. As she sits on the "exam table" we chat about how her day is going, and in no time at all we are done and bandaging her finger with a Hello Kitty band-aid.

Mom - The Restauranteur

By the time dinner rolled around Abby was ready to be catered to. I was to show her to her seat and then take her order - she even made sure that I had my notepad and pencil to get it right. I told her tonight's special (spaghetti with sauce) and that it came with a cold glass of milk. She told me that would be great, and I assured her that I would be back soon with her meal. She was very polite as she thanked me for my service. Although a tip was conspicuously absent.

After dinner I became the "Ice Cream Lady". As I prepared her chocolate ice cream cone, she stood next to me smiling so sweetly. After the hand-off, she happily ran from the room yelling, "Thank you, Ice Cream Lady!"

Mom - The Stylist

Since she'd had a yummy chocolate ice cream cone for dessert, she also had a lovely chocolate ice cream beard by the time it was done. Therefore we trotted off to the bath soon afterward. When we came downstairs afterward, she not only consented to having me comb her hair, but she plopped down in front of her mirror, asked for a cape, and told me she needed a hair cut. I jumped at the opportunity to even up some of the ends she wouldn't let me at a few weeks ago when I first cut her hair. As I was trimming Abby suddenly asked for "black hair". I clarified that she wanted me to dye her hair black. She affirmed that's what she wanted. I think I said something like, "That's never going to happen," but she continued to plead for it. I told her that as her stylist, I really couldn't recommend that change, it just wouldn't look good with her coloring. Luckily she dropped it after that.

Mom - The Teacher

This morning Abby wanted math. Yes, that's right, she wanted to do some math and she made sure to tell me that I was not to turn on the TV while she worked. So, I pulled out the counting teddy bears and we got to counting and patterning. That didn't seem to be enough though, because after a bit she closed the book and asked for "work". I took this to mean worksheets, so I drew some up. We matched numbers and counted dots - this seemed to satisfy her math need.

Later it was time for some language arts, so we wrote a book - a compelling story about a red flower. It was Abby's idea for it to be dancing in the breeze. I illustrated, she colored, and then she read the story to Daddy. He was suitably impressed.

All of you moms out there have your own stories of the different roles you play throughout the day. You are negotiators, referees, chauffeurs, cheerleaders, entertainers, and materials managers - to just name a few. Hopefully tomorrow you will also be extra appreciated for all that you do.

Happy Mother's Day!

Color me happy!

Teddy Bear Math

A hot day calls for a cold popsicle.

Positively Abby

One of the greatest things is that no matter what craziness is happening in our lives, Abby remains Abby. She continues to be joyful, precocious, sweet, and imaginative. A perfect example of this is how Abby has been getting her shots and finger pokes of late.

The rooms may change, sometimes we are in the dinning room and sometimes we are in her bedroom, but the procedure is always the same. Here's how it usually goes:

"Doctor Mom" or "Doctor Dad" gets all the gear ready, while Abby runs to a corner of the room. See, this is her riding the elevator to the "Doctor's office". As I make sure I've got the band aide and glucometer ready, Abby "beeps" and "boops" herself to the right floor.

Next, Abby will remind me that I need to consult my computer - to see who my next patient is, of course. "Dr. Mom" is always so happy to see that Abby is up next. That's when I have to go on the PA to call Abby back to my exam room.

As soon as she hears her name, her face lights up and she "swooshes" open the elevator door. We greet each other with a handshake and she takes her seat across from me. We chat about her day, and I ask where she would like her finger poke or her shot. And here's the thing that always gets me - she never loses her smile as she gives me her answer. As she tells me about her "crazy dream", or what she learned that day in school, we get things taken care of. Everything is so quick and easy, that I think we both are a bit surprised when everything is over. That's when she'll look at me and say, "I did it! I'm brave!" I always agree with her.

Yes, Abby is ever positive. Leave it to her to make something that could be so difficult, into fun pretend play.

Have I mentioned how much I love that kid?

Dazzling!

Friday Phone Dump - A Day Late

Yesterday, as I was driving home from school, I thought it would be a perfect day to write a post, more specifically a "Friday Phone Dump".  I had all sorts of cuteness on my phone, just waiting for a broader audience. Sure most of them had already been posted to Facebook, but who wouldn't want to see them all again - all in one spot?

Then, Jason zipped back to work for an event, Abby and I decided on spaghetti and meat balls for dinner, we colored, we snacked, and then it was off to the tub. By the time Abby was fast asleep, all I was fit for was sitting under my afghan and vegging in front of the T.V......that was until I found I'd drifted off.

So, here's the Friday Phone Dump - a day late.

After Abby's first (three hour) "diabetes" doctor appointment we thought she certainly deserved
a trip to the toy store. She picked out this flashy (literally) mic and amp set - I'm sure no one
is surprised. She enjoyed a fun-filled day of singing and dancing....that was until she got the flu.

Daddy also splurged for some make-up. She couldn't get enough of
the eyeshadow and lip gloss. Oh, boy........

Pedicure - Abby style!
BTW: Could her toes be any cuter? Don't think so!

The flu kept us home on Monday. The bright spot of the day was the surprise friend that
ended up on our doorstep. Abby now believes that every box that arrives at our door holds
a surprise for her. Thanks, Aunt Debbie and Uncle Charlie!

Wreck-It-Ralph had to get his sugar checked after Abby had her turn. According to Abby
his number was a shocking 27....the poor guy!

Yesterday Abby didn't have school, so Daddy took a day off and they headed out
to Nana and Papa's for some fun. Abby found the ultimate dress-up dress.

She's Got This!

There are many, many good things about Abby, but one of the best is that you can't keep her down. She is probably the most positive person I know, and she takes everything in stride.

Yesterday was Abby's first day back to school. I went with her in the morning, and was there for snack time, and to administer her lunchtime dose of insulin. I was also able to sit down and go through her dietary and medicinal needs with her teachers. I told others that my being there was a way of "easing" her back into the routine, but as I sat in the former nurse's office, waiting to take her blood sugar and give her insulin, I was able to watch her play at recess from the window. I watched her running, hand-in-hand, with her friends. I watched her laughing and drawing rainbows on the sidewalk. I even watched her steal a ball from a couple of kids, and then run off, hoping to claim it as her own - the stinker. In essence, I watched her being a happy kid. I knew then that any "easing" was for me and not for her. She'd bounded back into the routine of school with the same gusto that she did most everything else. It was I who needed the reassurance that everything would be alright.

When she happily bopped into the office, holding her lunch bag, she greeted me with a happy, "Hi, Mom!" She then proceeded to blow me away by standing for her finger poke and shot without a peep. In under a minute we were finished and she was walking back to lunch, holding her teacher's hand.

Wow.

Pride and hopefulness washed over me in a wave. Throughout all of this I've known that everything would be alright - yesterday I felt that everything would be alright.

Today was another good day. She still is struggling with her evening regimen. By the end of the day she doesn't want any more "medicine" and she doesn't want to pick a finger for the poke. She doesn't want to hear that she can't have a second helping of cereal, or she has to wait for tomorrow morning to have her yogurt, because she's met her carb quota for the night. I can't blame her - not one bit, but the fact that the morning and afternoon go so smoothly fills me with such hope.

The last two days have helped me remember that through all of this we are dealing with Abby, and she is one amazing kid....and she's got this!

I think we both enjoyed the fact that Mom got to help with her
morning work - she did a fabulous job, of course!

It's a bit blurry, but Abby is the one in green amidst that group hug.
Now this makes my heart happy.