Monday, April 16, 2012

The Sleep Bill

I am currently taking a class on Literacy Leadership. This weekend I completed an assignment where we had to review a literacy bill that has been proposed in the state or federal legislature. As I was doing my research I began to wonder if by putting in big words that few people use anymore, and bogging their proposals down with educational and legal jargon, the people that write them feel that they will be taken more seriously. I figured that was the only reason for not plainly stating what it was that they wanted to accomplish. Therefore, since I'd like to make a change that would impact many, I thought I would give it a try. I'll begin by laying it out as "they" would, and then I will tell you exactly what I want and why I want it. So here goes.

Official Request:

Bill: V.1 -  The Sleep Bill (Reordering the Days of the Week)

This amendment is made by Elizabeth (a.k.a. Abby's Mom) and the rest of the world, parties to the agreement as to the order of the days of the week, dated c. 600 A.D.
The Agreement is amended as follows:
The day of the week that hitherto has been known by the name "Saturday" will henceforth be called "Monday", and the day of the week hitherto recognized as "Monday" will henceforth be known as "Saturday". Thus making the order of the days of the week as follows: Sunday, Saturday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Monday. The aforementioned name change is the only proposed change, but causes the term "weekend" to now refer to the days Monday and Sunday, and the traditional U.S. work week to refer to days Saturday through Friday.

Unofficial Request:

Here's what I want:
I want to call "Saturday", "Monday, and "Monday", "Saturday".

Here's why:
It's all very simple really, on Saturday mornings Abby jumps out of bed anywhere from 5:30 a.m. to 6:30 a.m. This rarely changes. She is not content to linger in bed, or doze softly until a reasonable hour, no the kid wants to get going on her day - and drags Mom with her. Despite the fact that this tends to make my weekends much more productive, it also tends to make me tired and cranky. I want to sleep in.

The stinker just didn't want to get up this
Now, in contrast, when Monday rolls around the kid doesn't want to go anywhere. This morning was a perfect example. She spent some time cuddling with Dada (around 6:00 a.m.) and was quite content to laze about in bed. She finally sat up and called for Mama around 6:20, or so. She then proceeded to wheedle and whine, until Mama agreed to lay down and cuddle with her for a bit longer. She did this by saying things like, "I'm tired!" and "Cuddle, Mama!" I finally had to tell her that we had to get going, or we were going to be late. Finally I left her and went to continue getting ready. When I went to look for her a few minutes later she was standing in the upstairs hall way, leaning over on the clothes hamper - seemingly so tired she couldn't even stand up straight.

So you see, I've come up with a plan. If we change the names of the days of the week, maybe I will finally get to sleep in on the weekends. I know this may be inconvenient for a while, but pretty soon we will all learn to deal with the change. Many of you know exactly how stubborn Abby is - so you understand that this way is just easier.

I've even come up with my own slogan: "Things Go Better with Sleep!"

We all appreciate your support!

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