Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Worries

Ever since Abby and I went to that class for exceptional children last week, something has stuck with me.

One of the questions that we were asked ahead of time was, "As your daughter matures, do you have any special concerns (beyond the typical)?" I thought this was an interesting question. As I began to formulate my answer I couldn't figure out any concerns that were "beyond the typical" - whatever that means. I know I've had questions like, Where will we send her to high school?, Will she have a hard time making friends?, or What if she is bullied? but I think that all of these are "typical" parent concerns. Were they wondering about our concerns if/when something should happen to us? Don't all parents worry about that? Here's what I basically told them:

I think that whenever anyone is expecting a new baby they automatically start to envision the life they will have. I know when we were expecting Abby it was a given in my mind that our child would go to college, get married, have children, etc. Our child would have a "typically normal" life. It wasn't until after she was born that I realized that might not be the case. I quickly understood that her life would be more up to her, than up to me and what I expected of her. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that eventually this is a realization that all parents come to - I just got there earlier than most. When it comes to children, nothing is guaranteed - nothing is a "given".

In everything so far Abby has exceeded our expectations - beyond measure. Do I think that will continue? You bet. Will she go to college some day? Maybe. Will she get married some day? Maybe. Will she have a hard time making friends? Don't think so. The thing is, it's pretty useless to worry about things that may, or may not happen. I'm not saying some things won't get more difficult as she grows and matures, but isn't that the case for every child?

One of the best lessons I've learned is that the "typical" life that I envisioned for Abby is nothing in comparison to the reality of who she is. My view was so much dimmer. So, what are my concerns for Abby's future? Frankly, I won't know until we get there. For now, I'm going to take some good advice from a guy named Matthew. I'm not going to worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow has enough worries of it's own.

Abby got a trip to the "treasure box" today
at school - she hit pay-dirt when she got a doll!

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